Wednesday, December 1, 2010

April seems so long ago.

Most of my followers know that I like to think about how I am doing twice a year. Once on my birthday in April and again on Thanksgiving. I do this to keep me in check. Have I grown in love, faith, and tolerance? Am I coping with loss and examining my feelings?

I am still confused at the hurt I carry with the loss of Timber my English Setter. I had to think it through and often cried my way through it. She was the best of the best, but I had lost loved pets before. Was it because we had been so close. Even now as I write tears come to my eyes.

I decided that it was her spirit I missed, that something under my feet. That need for me to take care of and knowing she would be expecting me at the end of the day. I find this loss intolerable. But learning and trying not to bring in another spirit for reasons I can't go into today are still looming in my everyday thoughts.

As for everything else, it seems that life has been a growth and not a decline. For this I thank God. I also realized today, that it's me, I must take care of. I have always been passionate to others, their needs and what they think. This often leads to me compromising on issues that maybe I should think through. Maybe the phrase "To Thine Self Be True" applies to me more today than at any other time in my life.

I want others, like my husband to say things like. I think we need. Instead of me bringing to a heated discussion before he relents and says...do what is best for you! OUCH. But maybe life isn't suppose to be that way.

So my lesson is for the next few months...To Thine Self Be True. And yet stay passionate to others. I will let you know how that went.

God Bless those traveling through my little blog world.
Carol


3 comments:

  1. I've lost many dogs. But one hurts badly, my boy Buddy. We just had a connection.

    Yes,you do need to take care of yourself. It's hard!

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  2. Take it one day at a time and know that there are people out there who care, who really care.

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  3. Carol, having lost our Commanche so suddenly last year I know the pain you feel. I love your Timber stories, what a lucky pup to have you!!
    Cara xoxo

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