Monday, March 29, 2010

How do I look?


Good Monday morning. Today after a walk I decided that I was feeling a little fluffy, yes fluffy and as I walked past my little Easter decorations, I said this looks like me. Hmmm, but the chick has better legs. Giggle. Have a great holy week to all. And remember, looking fluffy can work for you, it's all a state of mind. Or in my case a total lack of mind.
God Bless you all.
Carol

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Look what I found.


Buying a house that has been already established with a yard decorated with trees, bushes, and surprises is making everyday something new. After seeing so many daffodils coming up. Yellow and white, there were other plants that didn't look familiar. So while walking around yesterday and seeing what John was doing and thinking of doing this tulip I spotted. It was so beautiful I ran right back in and grabbed my camera. So enjoy what I found. I love surprises.


Happy Palm Sunday, remember Jesus was real, not like his father, God but like you and I, of flesh and blood.


Carol

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Whaaat.....

I have designed money cards over the last two years. Tweaking the design, reworking the template. I designed my own template so tweaking was a slow process, always saving it on the computer, I have used this layout feeling secure that all I had to do was change the words, save and print. This is what happened yesterday. I know it's hard to see but the total card is truly one quarter off from top to bottom. Money cards have to hold cash or checks so size is important.

I am sharing this with you because I want you to laugh. It seems the harder we try to make life easy, the harder it is to be to be perfect. Yes I said perfect. I am a real fan of perfection, and know too well that I'm not. But I love my allusion and will strive to stay there.

Got to go, back to the proverbial drawing board. Giggle.

Have a great day.
Carol

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Waking up and feeling better.


Today was a new beginning. I wish I could say it was one thing that drug me kicking and screaming out of my depression, or that I am fully out. But with prayers from the ones who took the time to mention my hurt to God, and my own determination to open my eyes and hear. My angel whispering something that would awaken me.

With every vacuum and every window I wash, with every step forward I take, I knew she was disappearing from my world. Every little piece of hair the last. With a knot in my throat she was vanishing. But than, the effort of all the prayers, mine and others took hold. She will never truly leave because I loved her. Life goes on whether you want it or not.

I realized without loving this hurt would never happen again. But without love what is life about. I made a decision to love. To smile to giggle and to love. With every prayer I say, I know that prayer is the strongest cure of all.

From moment to the next, the memories will want to haunt me. But they will get sweeter with time. I will shed a tear, and I will become myself again. This I promise to all who love me.

God Bless those who helped me.


Carol

Monday, March 22, 2010

Vintage Easter

I loved this piece of vintage art and wanted to make a card that resembled the era in which this artwork was common. My mom would have loved it.

Hope you like it.
Carol

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Saturdays Walk

I decided that taking a camera with me while walking, it helps me see all things in a different light and hence takes the focus of my own thoughts. It seems to me that I have found beauty even in the development I live. I hope if you are sad this will give you a moments rest.

God Bless those who visit my little blog.

Carol

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I'm doing fine, but my heart hurts.

A long time ago, I saw a neighbor that lost her husband of 55 years. As a young stupid person I ask how she was doing. She calmly, forced a smile and said that she was doing fine, but her heart hurt. I never forgot it.

Regardless of the loss, be it your grandparents, parents, friend, companion, or your way, the intensity of your hurt heart is personal. No one can tell you how long the hurt continues. How many tears are enough. Your heart will decide that.

When I lost Timber, my emotions were out there for all to see. Than I told myself others have lost more and that she was a dog not important as others losses. I tried to feel good. Told myself to stop mourning and get my act together. But for me it wasn't that easy, I was trying to be strong so others would not think bad of me.

Then virtual friends, friend, and family told me to go ahead and hurt, to cry, be an air head as long as I needed because she was special, she was my responsibility, my companion, my accomplishment, she was a great girl. I could mourn her, and now I am, without apology.

I too can say, I am doing fine, but my heart hurts.

I am stronger due to my friends and loved ones. Because of you, I know I am on the right track and when my heart stops hurting smiles will come and fond memories will return.

Carol

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

On a Walk

The library is not the only thing I am doing to help the feelings of loss. I am walking, it has always been a thing I have loved. But now I am taking longer ones finding things to take pictures of. So here is my favorite from yesterday.

I can't tell you what it is but plan to find out. I know it comes from a very big old tree and I feel sorry for the people who own the trees. If you have lived with oak trees you now how dirty they are. But these seed pods are about 3/4 inch in diameter and come down off the trees in large quantity.

I hope you enjoy the creepy look of the pod.

Have a great day to you all.

Carol

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Wedding Gift

I love designing cards for weddings, and placing a gift card or money before closing. Last week I designed a wedding card shown here. It seems to me that it's my best yet. Often when I finish a card I find myself patting me on my back, which is pretty hard to do.

But the best part was when they opened it, the bride spent time looking at it, feeling the texture, admiring the colors. I knew then that the card was a gift onto its self. This felt good and makes creating so important and standing in front of my drawing table even more satisfying.

Wanted to share this moment with you.

Carol

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Making Changes

Good Saturday Morning to all of you. As it is in life, changes happen. We can continue to mourn the change or make the decision to see beyond it. Now when change happens and you go on, it doesn't mean you don't feel the pain of change or in my case loss.

I decided along with John to change things we do, to create a life that represented now. This is my first change, a stop at the library, not to see what people do in libraries but to become a patron of this establishment. I am now a card holder.

I have to say, I never had much time to read, or did I make time. It would take months to read a book. But this change makes me sit down and read because I truly only have three weeks. I think this will be a good change.

God Bless all how visit my little blog.

Carol

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Saturday, March 6, 2010

What can I say.


I want to thank you for your words of understanding. I found that my family and friends understood more than I gave them credit for. The tears that fell while reading and talking to them was as much for the loss as for the outpouring of love that came from everyone.
The last couple of days have been pure hell, the morning after her departure, my life had changed from a guardian of such a loving pet to a heart that was broken and a feeling of being alone. And since John was going through it with me we hugged and did little projects to use up the day.
For those of you that shared the stories of your loved pets, thanks, I knew that I was not alone in hurt and that I too would feel better with time.
God Bless all those who visit my little world.
Carol

Thursday, March 4, 2010

There will be no love without hurt.

Today at 3:00pm we put Timber down. I don't have a lot to say other than my heart is broken and I know it will get better with each day. But for today, pray that the pain goes away soon.

When my husband and I got home we raised a glass of wine to her. Even with the hurt today, her being with us was well worth the pain today.

Thanks for being my friends.
Carol

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

10 Things That Make Me Happy

1) God, he makes all things happen.
2) My husband because he makes everyday something to Cherish.
3) My Timber Girl. She is a pet from heaven. She makes both of us laugh.
4) Family, mostly because they love me so much. It's truly work.
5) My best friends in the family, mostly family in laws.
6) My best friend Brandy, she makes my life full. She listens and tells me the truth.
7) Divinity, a candy truly like clouds with lots of sugar.
8) My creativity, however that is also from God.
9) Peeps at Easter after a week in the air. Chewy. Yumm
10) You all for being my friends.

I plan to pass this along to:
Sara
Vodka Logic
Retired One

And anyone who loves to show a little of yourself to others.
Giggle
Carol

That's more like it....

Wow, yesterday was one of those days that just makes you wonder. What am I doing here? The snow feels like a beautiful Minnesota winter day, the only thing is that we live in South Carolina. As we watched the snow fall, John visualized another day without golf and me taking pictures to send to the family back home. Sending pictures of snow to Minnesota family makes the long winter just that more fair.

This morning I went out to see if my daffodil was going to be brave and open. I wasn't going to hold it against that beautiful little flower out there in the snow. But when I went out, it proved that being delicate is not being weak. Have a great day you all.

God Bless those who visit my little site.

Carol

Monday, March 1, 2010

Aren't the colors wonderful.

When I design I most of time have an idea what the end product is to look like. But this card was different. As I started with a look in front of me, I realized it needed more. However, that is often a problem when you have already started the layout. By the time I was done, I had so many layers on the front of the card that I was totally in love with the end product and felt the extra paper and time was worth it. I just wanted to toot my own horn this morning. Giggle.

God Bless those who visit my site and my heart.
Carol