Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I'm doing fine, but my heart hurts.

A long time ago, I saw a neighbor that lost her husband of 55 years. As a young stupid person I ask how she was doing. She calmly, forced a smile and said that she was doing fine, but her heart hurt. I never forgot it.

Regardless of the loss, be it your grandparents, parents, friend, companion, or your way, the intensity of your hurt heart is personal. No one can tell you how long the hurt continues. How many tears are enough. Your heart will decide that.

When I lost Timber, my emotions were out there for all to see. Than I told myself others have lost more and that she was a dog not important as others losses. I tried to feel good. Told myself to stop mourning and get my act together. But for me it wasn't that easy, I was trying to be strong so others would not think bad of me.

Then virtual friends, friend, and family told me to go ahead and hurt, to cry, be an air head as long as I needed because she was special, she was my responsibility, my companion, my accomplishment, she was a great girl. I could mourn her, and now I am, without apology.

I too can say, I am doing fine, but my heart hurts.

I am stronger due to my friends and loved ones. Because of you, I know I am on the right track and when my heart stops hurting smiles will come and fond memories will return.



  1. Hi Carol,
    My prayers are with you and soon enough the memories will come and you will remember Timber without crying. Unfortunately it takes a lot of time and tears, before the memories make smiles.

    Take care,

  2. Yes the hurt will get better with time, not go away totally but lessen....I hope!

  3. Good for you to realize the wisdom of that advice. One must go through the whole cycle of grief before you can get better.
    It does get better with time, but that timeframe is really personal for each individual.
    Try and think of Timber's LIFE and honor that by happy memories....celebrate the life, and the hurt of the death gets easier. {{hugs}}

  4. I know what it is for a pet to feel like a family member. Like you are connected.
    And what a source of light and comfort they become. And when that light is taken away you are left with darkness.

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  6. Carol, e-mail me at when you have time!

    Your neighbor,

    Helen Pruitt

  7. Oh, Carol, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved, Timber. I know how special our pets are and how deep the hurt is. Bless you and I'm glad your friends are bringing a bit of comfort. Hugs, Cara

  8. Have you ever thought of getting another dog? I know a couple that lost a dog unexspectedly and cried every day for 4 weeks. Then, their daughter brought them a new puppy and it filled them with happiness once again. They had said they would never get another dog, but once they got one it made them very happy. Just a thought. I know that no other dog will be the one you lost, but maybe you are also missing the companionship that another dog could actually provide once again, Take care, Susan