Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Waking up and feeling better.

Today was a new beginning. I wish I could say it was one thing that drug me kicking and screaming out of my depression, or that I am fully out. But with prayers from the ones who took the time to mention my hurt to God, and my own determination to open my eyes and hear. My angel whispering something that would awaken me.

With every vacuum and every window I wash, with every step forward I take, I knew she was disappearing from my world. Every little piece of hair the last. With a knot in my throat she was vanishing. But than, the effort of all the prayers, mine and others took hold. She will never truly leave because I loved her. Life goes on whether you want it or not.

I realized without loving this hurt would never happen again. But without love what is life about. I made a decision to love. To smile to giggle and to love. With every prayer I say, I know that prayer is the strongest cure of all.

From moment to the next, the memories will want to haunt me. But they will get sweeter with time. I will shed a tear, and I will become myself again. This I promise to all who love me.

God Bless those who helped me.



  1. Hi Carol,
    I am so glad that you are starting to feel a little better! I have been thinking of you and hoping that you are doing good!

  2. I am so glad you got through this stage of grief so quickly and that you can now celebrate her life with smiles and treasured memories of her.

  3. Hi Carol
    Life is different now and it seems as though you are doing all the right things in coping with your sadness during this emotionally raw period.
    It's the little things that can be reminders.
    It's not an easy journey but thankfully you have loving friends who understand this unique loss.
    Love to you