Thoughts for today.

I know that fear of the future freezes your daily activities and often you only do what you have to. But really this is the time you should surround yourself in things that take your mind off your fears.

Easier said then done. Even though I was busy, I found myself drug back into my thoughts. And even though I wanted to write a blog, I feared that what I did fear would come true if I wrote it and sent it into the blog world.

Silly that I couldn't trust you with my inner fears. I am now sorry for that, you followers have always given me the space I need to say what I need and than smile when I am back to smiling myself.

I can tell you that there is a smile back on my face. John is coming around with his health and we are still working out what went wrong. And guess what the back yard is taking shape. Yes, due to John's ability to dig and move ground. He is back and so am I.

God Bless those who travel through my little world here on Blogspot.

Carol

You warm my heart.

I don't think words are always needed when warm wishes are given so freely from all my friends here on the blog. Today we went to the heart doctor. His words were kind and clear. John's heart was not in trouble and his lungs were clear. This still doesn't answer the question of his breathing but the doctor is sending us to lung doctor and maybe it has more to do with allergies than anything else. We pray that will be the answer. He has been better since the humidity went down and that is also a good sign.

I thank you for the prayers and thoughts. Prayer to me is so powerful and understand that it's not always the answer you want but an answer you can deal with.

And we have gotten the answers that give us the next step. But learning his heart is strong and lungs are operating as they should for a younger man means we have learned to live and live better the last 12 years.

So in closing God is great, and those who believe are powerful.

Carol

When did it happen?

When did we look at each other and know what was lurking in each others head. What not to say, what to avoid and when to speak up? When was it that I found myself in him and him in me? When does it occur to you that you could lose the one you love?

For me, the relationship with John has slowly grown and with every breath I take he takes one with me. It's not only comfortable but loving. Is it boring? Sometimes it occurs to me that we have little to talk about, but on the other hand it's wonderful. Sitting on the porch, having ice tea and we are so comfortable with each other. We can shut the world out or we can talk about it. It's up to us at the moment.

I haven't been writing much lately because of health issues for my husband. John has had heart issues for years. And right off the bat we decided his heart had taken a down swing and we would do what was needed. That wasn't the issue. And unfortunately we still don't know. It's really hard on a strong man with vitality and than within weeks he losses some of that strength. We can't deal with something we don't know where it is in his body or what it is.

Prayer has been my outlet and I have to say, answers come from the world around you if you listen. That's what prayer gives you...an open mind. Maybe not answers but thoughts and maybe thoughts will lead to answers. John and I are now once again filled with hope that we will find the answers and move on.

God Bless those who travel through this little blog.

Carol

The Boys come home.

As always, the boys returned with sore hands and great spirits. Fishing is a marathon for them. They have seven days of fishing. They fish from 6:30 to 5:00 and seem to enjoy every hour.

The first time they went, when they got home, I suggested having fish for supper in honor of their catch. John just looked at me and said, no way, that's not going to happen. I didn't think that with fishing they ate fish every day for lunch.

John's fish measured 41 1/2 inches. He was proud but didn't win the big fish award. Another guy caught a 42 inch northern. By the way the fish was a catch and release. He is still swimming and I can bet he's staying away from those lures.

God Bless all who visit me here.

Carol

She's back....

Just a picture morning for me. I am designing a lot of cards this week. What fun. But wanted you to see the threat that this Mourning Dove is becoming. She moves closer to John everyday.

Is she offering him a little food. Humm...a way to a mans heart.

Have a great week to my followers.
Carol

I think I should worry....

My good looking husband enjoys sitting on the porch reading the paper or doing the crossword puzzle. What I didn't know was the company he is keeping. As I work in the studio, creating such wonderful cards he is have....well should I say entertaining. Could this be a treat. I am going to keep my head and keep the faith.

I have to say, she is beautiful and well put together. Most times I don't worry, but John seems to be talking to her and being overly attentive. And all she needs is sunflower seeds. This Mourning Dove has his attention. But she will have to understand, he has me.

Giggles for the morning.

Carol

More than just my husband.

The other day, while working at my part time job a gal was telling me that she has a wonderful husband. Not because his title was husband but because he was such a great guy. He loved her without thinking of every little difference. He gave her all of him.

Her thoughts were so simple and so easy to understand. Why, because I have a husband just like hers. After 23 years, we continue to grow in love. In our case it's because we don't take each other for granted. We work at our marriage. Sometimes it's a little harder but than we are worth it. I know him and he knows me.

When we lost Timber, I realized that he got over the loss so much easier than I did. But he understood me enough to give me time to heal. This is truly the reason he is such a great husband. He took time to know me and when times are rough, he knows what to give me. I hope you all have this kind of love. Remember this is not gotten overnight, this is from practice. And practice makes perfect.

God Bless all those who travel through my little blogger world.

Carol

Picture Tuesday

Over the last two weeks I have been getting trained for my new part time job, and still working on, life after Timber. These are both big changes so I have been neglecting my friends. But want you to know that I am still out here. I plan to get back to normal soon. Yesterday when my husband was having coffee on the porch he spotted and took this picture. It made me smile, hope it does the same for you.

Carol

Maybe it's bigger than the Jeep

If you read the last post you know why I am confused, why not sell it if you don't drive it? But maybe it bigger than just a jeep. See John, you know the great guy I am married to, is human as all of us. Mistakes, disappointments and just being tired of the hard work that goes with life. This story should brighten your heart. This story is the best part of life.

The jeep was delivered to may fix it up shops for welding, new seat covers, welding on the floor boards, mostly because you could see through the floor. And yet when he brought it home I just couldn't see it. From the depths of my heart I would say, looking better. Ya, right.

One thing that was not being fixed was an engine problem. After many a good mechanics looked at it, the problem was not clear. Then my nephew, Paul said he could figure it out if we weren't in a hurry. As we left it in his yard we drove off and over our shoulder waved goodbye. I new it was not going to look different but John would be happy.

Weeks later, my brother Marv called, and with a whisper said, "Don't say anything if John is there but does he want the jeep to be restored to an original look." With true trust I said nope, and the call was over.

Months later, my nephew called and announced the jeep was fixed and it sounded great, I shook my head and raised my eyes and said, sounds good but that won't help the bucket of junk called the jeep.

John was so excited for an French Indian hardly breathing man, but I could tell. Driving into Paul's driveway, John noticed the jeep was not in the yard. He wondered why, I said silly boy would you leave that piece of junk in the open. He smiled and said maybe not.

Funny thing is Marv, Paul and two other nephews, John and Leo were also there. When we came to the door of the garage, Marv and the boys lead John in. John just stood there, and then with a higher voice said, "those are my wheels. No one laughed, but Paul said that's your jeep.

John at that moment realized he was looking at a gift way beyond his dreams. They did this because, just because. It was a gift from the heart. At that moment in time he realized what family is, something special. The trip home was without words. He looked into the mirror and was in ah. And that my dear friends is maybe why the jeep cannot be sold.

I wish he would tuck me in like he does the jeep. Although I would have to sleep in the garage.

What happened here?

Over the last few weeks I have glanced at the arbor in wonder. Why don't I have more flowers. We planted Morning Glory's and the plant looks good. I know that the weather her in Minnesota has been cooler than normal.

So the other day I took a closer look, and guess what I found, yes, beans. I started to smile and thought, how could that happen? Was it the old thought that a birds dropping created this surprise. I waited till my sweet husband to arrive home with this news of beans on the arbor. I just couldn't wait to tell him. As he drove in I waited with batted breath.

Honey, I said, look at this .... beans. He looked at me with such a strange look and said of course.

What do you mean...of course? I planted them there, where was I? Again, I felt like the excitement air was released without fan fair. Oh well, tomorrow is another day and maybe I can surprise him.

Summer in Balsam Ponds